My Biggest Fear

My biggest fear came true today. I had a dream when I was pregnant that our half lab and half chow dog Casey would try to bite our baby Xander. Well, today, while John was sitting on the rug with our little boy, playing and laughing next to a calm (it would seem) Casey the world suddenly stood still. Even as time slows down, you never seem to be able to quick enough. Little Xander reached over and grabbed Casey's neck and the dog growled and snapped, striking Xander in the face. The chaos that in sued was phenomenal... I yelled and grabbed the dog's collar and tossed him out side. John swept little Xander in his arms to check out any damage. Little Xander started crying, mostly out of fear than pain. Xander escaped with only a welt on his forhead and cheek - the result of Casey's teeth scrapping against his skin.
I grabbed my baby from John and told him that the dog must go, he had ONE chance, and now it's done. Xander did NOTHING wrong. He was simply playing and exploring. He didn't hurt the dog, but simply pet him, and the dog's reaction was UNACCEPTABLE.
We've had one warning - luckily Xander was not permanently scarred, either mentally or physically. But there will be NO next time. Since becoming a mother, I have a single-minded protective instinct that supersedes any other thought. Protect my child above all else. Nothing else is as important.
Good bye Casey... I will chose Xander EVERYTIME.

Finding Balance

"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious." - Albert Einstein

It's ironic that once you get into a grove, everything turns upside down... I'm finding that I'm working just as hard as little Xander in finding balance. As he become more mobile (not quite crawling yet), I'm becoming a little more rigid. Yes, the yoga teacher is become more inflexible. Ahhh motherhood... what surprises do you have left for me!
Xander is pulling up a lot... and trying to find his balance. He's learning that feet farther apart tends to allow him to stay up for longer stints, and that he can lean on objects (sometime people or animals even!). His passion is astounding! He will keep trying to stay up standing, over and over again. The more tired he gets, the more determined (and frustrated!) he becomes.
My job is to make sure he doesn't fall too hard, because fall he must. I fight the urge to catch him, and only make sure his head doesn't hit the tile. It's hard to hear his cries of frustration as his limbs don't do exactly what he wants, but it's important for him to work through it. If I pick him up and set him back on his feet every time he'll never learn how to do it for himself.... so I fight the urge.
Now as all this new and exciting stuff is happening, I'm finding it even more important to keep to his routine, some thread of consistency in this daily storm of new adventures and milestones. Xander does not tend to agree... nap time has become a struggle of wills, bedding down for the night becomes a long and arduous process and diaper or outfit changing is now a full on wrestling match!
Thank goodness for my Yoga Mama friend Lisa and her daughter Josephine! As Josephine is a full 2 months a head of Xander, Lisa has been where I am and helps to keep me sane. Here I am, a yoga mama trying to find my balance in a quickly moving current that is my baby's life.

Play dates

"Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" - C.S. Lewis

One of the most rewarding and fun experiences Xander and I have together are play dates. Every week we go see our little cousin Zoe, who is 2years old. Xander is utterly fascinated with her and watches her like a hawk... studying every nuance and movement. When in the car together, Zoe holds his hand sometimes, and recently he's started reaching for her!

But I have to say, I think his favorite play date is with Josephine... she's a pretty little girl, just 2 months older than him. Her mama and I used to swim at Barton Springs while pregnant during those hot Texas summer months, and I swear, they energetically remember each other! Everytime he sees her, his face breaks out into a HUGE smile. I swear, they are Pebbles and Bam Bam... he hasn't yet clubbed her but he has taken her toys... Ah, the courtship begins...